I have been the mother to four blessings for two weeks now. l remember the fear that I had those first few days. I knew that being a mother to four kids would be different; it would require me to be different. I knew that who I was would evolve and change; I could almost feel it happening inside of me and it terrified me a little bit. I wondered if once the tranformation was done, would I still feel like myself? Would I still be me? Or would I be so different that I regretted the change and longed to go back to the way that I was. This may sound completely ridiculus, but none the less, it was how I felt. I can remember feeling something similiar right before I was to give birth to Carson. How would it feel to be the mother of two instead of the mother of just one? Would the new responsibilities and demands change me? Would it change my relationship with the first? Change always brings unknown. Oh, but God is good. And He is undoubtedly shaking His head at my worries. "My Child, if you will trust in me, I can bless you."
And blessing me, He is. Fortunately, I am successfully becoming the mother of four and yes, I am happy to say that I do still feel like myself. Ha! Is our family changing? YES! Is it good change? YES! After only two weeks, it is becoming hard to imagine our life and our family without them. I feared that adding two more children would change me and I would not feel like myself; I am quickly realizing that now I would not know who I was if I wasn't the mother to these four. God chose to bless our family with these four specific wonderful kids. We were made for them and they were made for us.
